Inspired from Akeboshi's - Wind
With respect, It all started with a debate on Ganesh Chaturthi between me and 2 of my colleagues. Everyone around me seems to be talking about productivity, focus and outputs the whole time. I don't say that's wrong, instead, to survive in a company or the society you have to puppet around those words every day. In the past 2-3 years, I've developed a good, not good, but fabulous amount of apparent, and strong hate for the words "Productivity", "Focus" and "Improve". I have been on the other side of the river and been very close to people who have tried to practice those whimsical words a lot. With the words like "focus" lurking like worms in your mind, a person usually ends up being focused for short term and short term goals. Their obsession for focus doesn't really tie them to anything happening in the long term view point. One thing I want you to keep out of your mind for a while is "Everyone's mind is different" that kills the point of this essay. But don't worry at the end I will do it myself and act holier-than-thou smirks.
The debate was about something very abstract at the beginning, for me, it all started with the words, "Junk thoughts". I'll be very honest, I was triggered. I was curious to know what someone means by junk thoughts and how they categorize their thoughts into a trash bin. The definition seems to be pretty straight forward, any thought which replaces your consciousness while working or doing certain task and distracts you for a certain amount of time is junk. If the output of such process is not positive to the mind, its a junk thought. If time is wasted without any good/projected output, its a junk thought. I couldn't help but get more and more triggered with all the fantasies in my mind. Everyone wants to walk in a beautiful garden with lovely flowers, trees and green grass all around them.
I don't want to explain the debate, I'll explain all about my hypothesis about how a person by hook-or-trook entertains these so-called "junk thoughts" every single day. Whenever they called it "junk", it stimulates frustration inside me and by every means, I want to prove them wrong.
The way we learn about things is by making mistake and by going through an iterative process. Chad Smith, the genius drummer of Red Hot Chilli Peppers builds the drum parts in the albums as he plays with the band, instead of getting into the process of thinking and writing down what would a specific part should sound like. I feel amazed by how those people's minds are. That is mostly natural and innate. People who ignore the fact that something like "Natural Talent" exists, they are basically trying to run along the apocalypse of walking with "Shakespeare" in their hands to the university. The very thought of concluding it as "junk" is not appropriate in my purview.
The dilemmatic zone of focus does not let you think in smaller and smaller steps towards some particular thought or decision. I also believe that it's the death of self awareness in the process of still and zen focus. If you've watched any of J Krishnamurthi's lectures, you will realize what I'm talking about. I always end up laughing when Jiddoo is sitting in front of 30-40 fast focused minds and he has to stutteringly say, "hey peephal, why are ye going fast, go slow, go slow, aaaa" and has to pull people behind in the question-answer process. Each mind is running very fast towards concluding things and jiddoo hates that. It's similar to how a focused mind is, all of these minds might be breaking things into chunks, but again in focused and highly directed arcs. In the debate, I tried so much to force people into thinking in smaller steps. How do you learn if your thoughts are junk? By starting the process of junk thoughts, get blindly involved into it, understand each thought. You do irrelevant thinking to understand that you're doing irrelevant thinking. You can't avoid doing things until you've experienced them personally. You can't understand how harmful alcohol can be when done out of limit, until you do it and experience it. You can't train your mind to be a connoisseur without experimenting with your tasks. I am privileged here to say all of this because, while I'm writing this, I am restless and have 0 idea of what direction this blog post will go into. With writing, hand in hand, I'm trying to also demonstrate the chaos to the readers.
You write code, poems, stories line by line. As engineers, "code trashing" is a very big flex in Frappe. I've always heard people saying such dialogs with great pride. The code was inefficient and bad, but that inefficient code helps you understand what efficient code might look like. Those broken grammar and prepositions in the poems written are a trace that things had happened and that bad grammar is a mark so to not forget. A lot of this is also connected to humiliation. The deeper humiliation you feel, the better the learning becomes.
To state one more example, just because I noticed this while listening to one of my favorite songs now. All of us listen to music, right? There is this specific term called "progression" with respect to guitar chords, but drums have a bit of the essence too. It simply tells how the chords and beats are going to change as the song progresses. To ears with not-so-sharp listening skills, drums might be more understandable. It's almost impossible to make good music without bridge (the epicentre of a song). The beauty of bridge is that it's the musical part which is the source of tension. Music progresses towards the bridge, just to perform it, kill the bridge and get back to its original form. As the music progresses, the drummers start showing their importance and why the band is nothing without them. They'll start tapping the cymbals, start hitting the bass drum slowly to make it a natural metronome. And often times almost when it's 3-4 seconds before the epicenter, they'll start hitting the high-hats, make your heart rush and then the bridge sounds magical. Often, what a hungry listener's ears are waiting sacredly for.
Mind and thoughts are just like the bridge in a musical composition. The distraction or whatever you think is junk, is the bridge. You kill it and get back to whatever your life is asking you to do. So, no matter what, you can't get rid of the bridge. I don't mean to say that those detours and distractions should be encouraged. The whole point is to "entertain" things, with time anyways your mind is trained to reduce the time complexity of things. I am at least in love and obsessed with entertaining everything, and I'm adamant to any prevention. But again, everyone's mind is different.
Why "Are the deers chaotic" ?
1. Titles come to my mind first. Everything reveals with time.
2. A deer is an animal which has to prepare itself for all the variables. They study patterns every single moment. Eyes scanning for patterns, ears tracking sound vectors, and nose processing chemical data streams.
3. We study massive parallel data streams, and we should do (?).
